You're still with me in my dreams.

Current Mood: Confused & "I told you so".

Well then, I'm confused, as already stated by the mood.
I'm not sure what's going on, he's teasing me again.
I mean, it's not really teasing, it was a joke, but I don't know how he is with his friends.

I liked it, more than anything, because it's like the way it used to be.
The way I love it.
The way I want it.
I just don't know. I want it to continue. And knowing myself, I'll continue to bring stuff up.
My nature, my problem.

History reapeats itself and from personal experience, when something happens with me, it gets stronger each time. Knowing how strong it was in months past, I hope my streak continues to flourish. I guess you could say I'm stupid. On the contrary, I say it's love, but as long as he doesn't realize the exent of all this, the longer I have to stay right where I am, possibly in misery, possibly in hopefulness.

I hope he knows that I was serious when I said, "Don't even tease me, because I would.."
100% serious, babes.

I still love you..

All for now.

Poker Is The Only Game You're Not Playing

Poker Is The Only Game You’re Not Playing
Current mood: nostalgic


At a touch of our fingertips
We can make it all disappear
Please don't escape my hopeful grip
Believe it or not, there was a time you wanted to be there.

If I can't touch you,
How do I remove my hands?
Must be deaf to all of it;
I just can't meet your demands.

All you wanted is for it to be over
But somehow I couldn't let it go
Now that the snow is lain
It doesn't change a thing.

I still sleep with your picture,
And the note you sent.
I know it's just my tendencies,
But they are the only things I've got left.

And everything I've dreamt about may never come true,
Everything I wished on a shooting star for,
I've come to accept the fact that I can't have you.
It doesn't change a thing.

If I can't touch you,
How do I remove my hands?
If I can't love you,
How do I remove my heart?

If I can't think about you,
How do I reset my brain?
Babes, it won't ever go the way you want,
It doesn't change a thing.

:D<3

Current mood: Optimistic

Well, he finally got online, and I talked to him.
Ahh, sweet, sweet relief.
I wouldn't doubt if he knows I'm still in love with him.
I wonder what will happen next year when his girlfriend leaves for college..
I don't know, but if he ever wants me, I'm his.
That's the promise I made to him, and to myself.
Short blog, but I needed to vent. :P

After all this time, I still miss you..

Current mood: Nostalgic & Stupid

It's been a really long time since I talked to him.
And a long time since I've been completely sane.
It's been a total of 17 days, and I don't know if I can stand it much longer..
He doesn't even look at me, I mean, all I want is his approval to go on, but it seems like there's something more. Something he won't tell me.

I bet it's just me, my mind making up false hope, and how everyone thought I was crazy.
Everyone thought I was making it up. Well I guess the only people that know are he and I..
It was wrong, and it's over..
And it's all my fault..

Cabin By The Clearing

October 19, 2008 - Sunday
Cabin By The Clearing
Current mood: happy:)
Category: Music

Let's drive out to our escape, down the back dirt road.
The Camero's strong engine purring.
With the windows down, there's never a frown,
Listening to the bluebird's song.

Every second is worth our while
And millions more to come.
Holding hands, making friends
Refilling our cold beer cans.

[Chorus:]
I never wanna leave the beautiful peace
Never see it disappearin'
I love sittin' by the fire; whisperin' sweet nothings.
Our cabin by the clearing.

Carving initials in tall trees,
Forever they will stay.
We were high school sweethearts.
What a sweet, sweet cliché.

[Chorus x2:]
I never wanna leave the beautiful peace
Never see it disappearin'
I love sittin' by the fire; whisperin' sweet nothings.
Our cabin by the clearing.

[Music to fadeout]

Cancer Of The Heart

September 30, 2008 - Tuesday
Current mood: loving you, as always
Cancer Of The Heart

What am I waiting for?
Will you ever come around?
All I know is that I can't live without you;
My life will never be found

[Chorus:]
I want you.
I need you.
You're a part of me.
I love you.
I'll wait for you.
You'll be the death of me.

Fighting as they stay strong.
My feelings for you are raging.
Battle on.
Battle on.

They grow and multiply
Like a deadly sickness,
For the likes of which,
There is no cure.

The heal for you is her.
The fix for me is you.
I honestly know what I'd prefer
But you have a contrasting point of view

[Chorus:]
I want you.
I need you.
You're a part of me.
I love you.
I'll wait for you.
You'll be the death of me.[x2]

My Stupidity Gets The Better Of Me, Once Again

September 6, 2008 - Saturday
Current mood: lost/empty
My Stupidity Gets the Better of Me, Once Again

I don't know how to describe it. And I don't really know if you care. The only thing I know, is that I'll never have you here. You're a part of me, no matter what they say. And I just can't let you go. My heart is breaking, my hands are shaking; I don't feel emotions anymore, like a pair of worn out brakes, mine have gone with time and use. Or so it seems. Everything shown here is real... Is it, really? You're perfect to me; you have no flaws. There are no barriers, like states without laws. I can't take this anymore. I'm done, I'm done. All I want to see is the sun. The bright side of things, the feelings come with. All I want is "I love you." T'was never missed. It was never there and will never be. Am I wanted? At all? Speak up, speak up. I can't handle this numbness; push me down, help me stand again. It's an oddity how much I care. I see you with her; I'm physically sick. Not normal, huh? I'm sure if I see you kiss her I'll get dizzy and fall. Do I have to wake up? Even at all? It's torture here. And you should know. You have suffered some limiting blows. Please give me a chance, if things do not go. Please, babes, listen, It's me I want you to know. I wish I could be perfect for you, that's all I want. But if nothing else flies, I want to know you upfront. A best friend, someone you can trust. That's all I ask. So as I drink this last glass down, just know I'll be there through every hidden tear, every frown. I can't stand to lose you, not now, not ever. Take those words to heart. They won't be liable to change.

Loose labios se hunden buques.